Every Irrelevance | Scottitude.Net

NCIS: Back with a Vengeance... And a Wild Card

Even Lost will be hard pressed to come up with a better season premier than NCIS. Tonight's episode has to be one of the best ever crafted in the history of television. Hollywood ought to just hand next years Best Supporting Actor Emmy to Michael Weatherly right now; his performance was epic!

And in less than thirty seconds, Salim was stone-cold dead. Friggin' awesome. 

So many amazing scenes, so much flawlessly executed dialog and perfectly crafted to bring first time viewers up to speed and leave them hungry for more while satisfying us die-hards.

If you missed the premier, you can watch it at CBS.com and If you can't be in front of the TV on Tuesdays, set your DVRs for 8E / 7C and don't miss an episode; it's gonna be a hell of a season!

        copyright © MMIX Scottitude

Big Brother 11: Stick a Fork In It (Shittiest Season EVER!)

I've officially had it with Big Brother 11. So much so that I have practically no interest in explaining or even acknowledging my lost interest but somehow feel compelled to explain to the voyeur in all of you why you most likely won't be seeing any more Big Brother 11 screencaps of bikini-clad or nearly naked houseguests for the rest of the summer. I've decided to just say no.

Allison Grodner, her pathetic excuse for "production company", and CBS have lost their friggin' minds and I refuse to waste my time or digital real estate promoting the worst season, cast, "twist", and editing of any reality non-scripted show in the history of reality non-scripted shows.

I've already pointed out (as have many  posters on every BB forum on the Net) that the clique "twist" was a poorly thought out, pathetically executed  momentum killer and bringing back the most ridiculous houseguest ever, the sexually confused narcissistic and delusional Jessie I-spell-my-name-like-a-girl Godderz from BB 10 in an alleged HOH competition that was clearly engineered to ensure the the steroid-freak's second chance at his fifteen minutes of fame is a giant "screw you" to we, the faithful viewers.

Video game "expert" (WTF is that?) über-geek Ronnie Talbot made for some potentially decent TV but he's not the Dr. Will clone he fancies himself as and his feeble attempt at strategy ended up with him hiding under the covers in the HOH room for most of his tenure as king rat.

For me, the season and perhaps the franchise as a whole jumped the shark when the Assletes clique was set up with what amounts to perpetual immunity and the friggin' idiots evicted Laura Crosby not because she was the smartest player, which she was, but because CBS' golden bitch Jessie was scared of her breasts and vagina. Sorry, but his disdain for Laura was clearly motivated by jealousy; how could he get all the guys to worship him when such an amply endowed, intelligent hot female was in the house.

I think the final straw, however, is that Lydia Tavera has exposed herself as the skank and slut that Braden Bacha tagged her as shortly be fore he was unanimously evicted in week one. Strategy is strategy but being Jessie's whore is despicable. WHo knows what really goes on on under the sex tent but Lydia giving Jessie hand jobs, blow jobs, or out-right banging him proves Braden's "inappropriate" comments were at least partially correct.

I though Lydia was kind of sexy,now she's just another filthy attention whore, whoring herself to a douche-bag loser.

If any of you have half a brain, you'll give it up too. It's n ever been the best way to spend three hours a week but it's clearly become a complete waste of time.

Thanks Allison, for ruining Big Brother. Friggin' idiot.

        copyright © MMIX Scottitude

Big Brother 11 Episode 04 Screencap Gallery

Not a lot of skin shown in BB11 episode 4 but we did get some cute facial expressions from Jordan, some Chima toe, and a Gnat's ass.

The shots of Jeff Schroeder are for the ladies who love him. You know who you are.

Oh yeah, and Russell is still a sphincter muscle.

        copyright © MMIX Scottitude

Big Brother 11 Episode 03 Screencap Gallery

The Big Brother 11 Episode 3 Screencap gallery features Lydia Tavera sportin' a bikini during the "Pop Goes the Vetocompetition. This is as close to naked as we've seen Lydia so far and the editors were kind enough to treat us to some very nice camera angles. A butt-shot, however brief, is still a butt-shot.

We also got some footage of Laura Crosby lounging in her red bikini so be sure to check out those shots.

Enjoy the rest of the Big Brother 11 Episode 3 Screencap Gallery after the jump.

BIg Brother 11 - Full Frontal Nudity

Here are a couple of Big Brother 11 screencaps from the 24/7 live feeds featuring sexy blonde Jordan Lloyd naked above and below the waste. Unfortunately, these are neither the size nor quality of screencaps grabbed from the broadcast but naked is naked, right?

Naked, nude, breasts, boobs, tits, bush (sort of), beaver, love muffin, whatever your preference, if you're over 18 and therefore able to lawfully view nudity, follow the jump and  feast your eyes on Jordan's glorious nakedness.

Big Brother 11 Episode 02 Screencap Gallery

Before we get to the screencaps I have to make three points abundantly clear.

1. The "clique" twist is friggin' stupid. It had potential but was poorly thought out and executed. The out-going HOH and the members of their clique should all be excluded from the next HOH contest. Since the clique-members are elligible to participate, the game is slanted in favor of  the previous HOH clique. The cliques shoud have been disbanded and the clique-members-can't-be-nominated "rule" nullified immediately prior to the second HOH competition.
   
   
2. CBS effectively let Allison Grodner whip out her penis and piss all over the fanbase by bringing back Jessie, the meat-head steroid junkie ("natural body builder" my ass) that continues to deny his sexual inclinations in a competition that was clearly fixed. Nothing wrong with Jessie being gay but I loathe fakers and posers. Note to Jessie: you spell your name like a girl, you openly admit that you have no attraction to Laura Crosby's ginormormous breasts and tight little body (and have never shown any manly interst towards any female in the house), and again, not that there's anything wrong with it, you need to man-up and admit once and for all you are gay.
   
   
3. Russell, the other steroid-junkie suffers from a Napolean complex and is nothing but a pathetic "Cappy" wannabe and his little bitch Gnatalie is the new Ivette. We hated you both in Season 6 and we still hate you. Love muscle? Maybe for Lilliputian crack-whores. In the real world you're Russell the Sphincter Muscle and a friggin' idiot like your lover Jessie. And aside from hip-hop clowns and white trash wannabes , what kind of loser dick-head tucks their ears under their cap? You look like Elmer fucking Fudd. Asshole.

Now, on to bigger and better things like Laura's breasts, and Lydia Tavera's (in a Suicide Girl way) little tattooed body and sexy eyes. We'll also see a wild side of the resident neuro-scientist Michelle Noonan and a little bit of Jordan Lloyd's southern charms.

View the entire Big Brother 11 Episode 2 Screencap Gallery after the jump.

Big Brother 11 Episode 1: Highlights and Lowlife

Not sure I feel about the whole high school clique factor but I'm thinkin' it's pretty much gonna suck and screw some deserving players out of an opportunity to actually play the game.

Loved the Wedgie Challenge and some of the resulting images, though; pretty funny and in some cases, a little hot...

Had to be uncomfortable but lacking any real bikini time it provided some amusing (and a little hot) shots of wedgified backsides.

Would have preferred that Jessica Hughbanks made it back int the house instead of that worthless closet case Jessie. What man spells his name like a girl? None; just a self-satisfied steroid junkie that's lying to himself and everyone else about about his sexual preferences. Not that there's anything wrong with it, he's clearly gay. What is wrong is his continued pretense of being a "ladies man".

Jessie-girl is the low-life lowlight but we did get some cute shots of Lydia, Laura, Jordan, and Natalie and that goofy chick Chima (apparently pronounced "shee-muh").

I'll get a few more screencaps posted this weekend so check back.

        copyright © MMIX Scottitude

Girls of BIg Brother 11: Preview

So the eleventh cycle of the CBS "reality" voyeur-fest Big Brother premiers tonight at 9 E / 8 C and with the sorry state of the summer rerun schedule it will give us three reasonably fresh hours in front of the great flickering box.

CBS will treat is to six attractive women (hard to tell if any of them will be "ladies"), six guys that will most likely be of the douche-bag variety and one mystery house guest to be revealed this evening.

I'm hoping beyond all hope that the mystery houseguest will A) not be some asshole attention whore guy from a previous season, B) that it will be a female, and C) that it will not be a celebrity or attention whore from some other reality show. Unless it's Survivor hottie Amanda Kimmel, of course!

At this point, all the dudes are completely irrelevant and unworthy of any real estate here at Every Irrelevance so here are Big Brother 11's girls of summer 2009:

At least one of them looks like she'll be complete bitch and Laura has apparently committed to being more frequently nearly naked than hot-bodied Jen Johnson. You remember Jen, right?

 

After this evening's premier, Big Brother 11 will air on your local CBS affiliate three days each week as follows:

• Sundays at 8 E / 7 C
• Tuesdays at 9 E / 8 C
• Thursdays at 8 E / 7 C (live)

Like any other network programming, the shcedule is subject to change based on whatever pointless idiotic sporting event may be deemed more advertising-friendly than 13 attention whores in a fishbowl so cross your fingers for no changes that will screw up your Tivo or Media Center record settings..

And watch. You know you want to!

        copyright © MMIX Scottitude

Survivor: Gabon - Episode 2 Screencap Gallery

The Girls of Gabon, Episode 2 screencaps...

        copyright © MMVIII Scottitude

Survivor: Gabon - Episode 1 Screencap Gallery

The Survivor: Gabon (Survivor 17) Episode 1 Screencap Gallery is a week late so let's cut to the chase. Michelle Chase, that is, the fiercely competitive and clearly capable 24 year old hottie from southern California that was the first castaway voted off the continent by the Fang (pronounced 'fong') tribe, confirming her belief that "they're like the dumbest people on Earth".

Can't disagree; Michelle was the first female from either tribe to complete the grueling obstacle course challenge and they dump her to keep the oldest most useless woman on the continent. If the rest of the tribe had competed as hards as Michelle had, they probably wouldn't have lost the first Immunity Challenge. Fortunately, Fang's choice bit them in their collective ass as they lost the second Immunity Challenge and Gillian, the allegedly nice but totally worthless dead weight went next.

Considering the amount of face (and body) time Michelle was getting, her departure came as no surprise. As much as we'll miss her nearly naked body, at least she can eat a sandwich or three and put on some much needed poundage. Still, scrawny or not, nearly is nearly naked!

Plus, her tan-lines must have been as dangerous as Amanda Kimmel's ass as even the most harmless of shots were blurred by the network. I understand blurring the wet panties but tan-lines, WTF?

Bravo shows bare ass-cheeks in g-strings and CBS will show an exposed penis flopping around freely but blurs the most innocuous images. I don't get it.

Anyway, here are some guaranteed penis-free sample caps from Episode 1:

You'll find the entire 89 image gallery  featuring Survivor Gabon babes, Michelle Chase, Jacquie Berg, Jessica "Sugar" Kiper, Kelly Czarnecki, and the super sexy icy blue-eyed hottie, Corrine Kaplan.

Click the mongo thumbnail at the right for the full size image of Corrine.

And don't miss the exceptionally large screencaps of Michelle at the bottom of the next page!